Welcome to Your Life
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I say under my breath. There’s no way this can be happening. I had my whole future ahead of me. What am I supposed to do now? My parents are going to kill me, and I can’t rely on my ex-boyfriend, Jake. He’s likely to run away, scared shitless.
Goodbye scholarships. I’m only eighteen, and this isn’t how I envisioned my life turning out. I wipe the tears from my cheeks. When did I start crying? I grab the little stick that has now determined my future, wrap it in toilet paper, and hurl it in the trash.
Gathering all the strength I can muster, I walk out of the bathroom, gathering the words to tell my parents that they will soon be grandparents. This isn’t going to go well at all.
I’m completely overcome with the many emotions swirling through my brain. Fear, sadness, confusion. I can’t settle on just one. I feel each one with every fiber of my being.
My parents are on the patio drinking in the summer night, waiting on the first fireworks to sail into the air as we celebrate our freedom. I definitely don’t feel free right now. I feel trapped, and can’t breathe. The heat isn’t helping, either. They look at me as I step on the patio, and instantly know that something is wrong.
“What happened? Are you okay?” My mom asks.
I can only shake my head, look at the ground, and try to keep the moisture behind my eyes. Dad has a look on his face… A mixture of worry and anger.
“Please, don’t tell me what I think you are about to tell me,” he says. Barely containing the worry that wants to claw its way out.
The tears that I had strangled only moments ago burst free.
“Damn it, Tonya. What the hell are you going to do now?”
I could handle Mom’s wrath, but hearing the disappointment in Dad’s outburst rips me wide open.
I’ve always been Daddy’s little girl, his pride and joy. But the moment the words “I’m pregnant” slip through my lips, I know he’s never going to look at me the same again.