Gabe: A Reed Security Romance
I pulled off my suit, carefully laying it across my bed while Chance rolled his eyes at how careful I was being.
“Stop being a jackass. I don’t want my suit all wrinkled.”
“Yeah, you’re right, because you’re going to need it for your next date, since you’re going to miss this one,” Chance said as he looked at his watch.
“Shut up, fucker.” I finished stripping down until I was just in my boxers. I went to pull on my jeans, but Jackson stopped me. “Whoa, what the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m putting my jeans on.”
He shook his head and took a few steps towards me. “Look, I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you this, but boxers are out. Don’t you own any boxer briefs?”
“What’s wrong with boxers?”
“Nothing, except yours have fucking dogs on them. Is that really what you want her to see when she pulls down your pants? Oh, look at the cute puppies on your boxers,” Jackson said in a girly voice. “You don’t want the word cute anywhere near your dick.”
“They’ve never been a problem before,” I smirked.
“And yet you’re still single.”
That wiped the smile right off my face. I walked over to my dresser and yanked open the top drawer. “Fine. Do you have a color preference? I have black, red, and gray. Or would you like me to run out to the store and grab a different color?”
I frowned down at the briefs for a moment. “What about…” I scratched behind my ear as I tried to think of the right word. “Sweatage?”
“Sweatage,” Chance repeated.
“You know.” I motioned down toward my groin.
“Ah, you mean your sweaty ball sack.” He nodded assentingly. “Use cologne.”
“You want me to put fucking cologne on my dick? What the hell am I supposed to do when I take her to the fucking hospital because she’s been poisoned?”
“You don’t fucking spray the whole bottle on you,” Chance said. “It’s just like the ladies do. They put perfume on their pulse points to draw you in. You do the same thing, sort of. Just dab a little on both sides of your dick. If you end up sweating, you have the cologne to block the smell.”
I shook my head and made my way into the bathroom, Chance following closely behind. I stopped and held up my hand, blocking him from entering the bathroom with me. “I think I can handle this on my own.”
Chance backed off, hands up to show he wasn’t coming in with me. I shook my head as I let out a long sigh and opened my medicine cabinet. Pulling out the cologne, I uncapped it and smirked at my favorite scent. On the other hand, sometimes when I sweat, it didn’t smell so good. Then, I would smell worse than just sweat. Putting the cap back on, I put it back in the cabinet. I was just about to close the door when I saw a bottle of women’s perfume that someone had left behind. Pulling it off, I sniffed and inhaled a flowery scent. If it was between smelling like sweat or flowers, I’d take flowers.
Yanking down my boxers, I sprayed a small squirt on each side of my dick. Then I kicked off the boxers and pulled on the briefs. Puffing out my chest, I felt better already. I walked back out into the room and started pulling on my jeans, then my button down.
“Do I smell flowers?” Jackson asked.
I shrugged, not answering him. I buttoned my shirt all the way to the top when Chance stopped me.
“Jesus Christ, it’s like you’ve never dressed yourself before. Undo two buttons. Give her a peek at the tat on your chest.”
I undid two, but you could just barely see the ink. “Why don’t I undo one more?” I undid the third button, but Chance and Jackson both cringed. “What?”
“You look like you’re going to The Roxbury. Now, you’re in douche territory again,” Chance grimaced.
“You said to show her my tat. She can’t see any of it with only two buttons undone.”
“She just needs a glimpse, to leave her wanting to peel your shirt off,” Jackson said.
“You know, I used to be able to dress myself, but then you assholes came in and suddenly I feel like I’m five years old.”