Broken Condoms & Promises Author: K.L. Hall

Nobody tells you how much your life will change right before you turn 30. They only tell you about the obvious things that you can Google, and not the heartbreak, addiction or even jail time that comes with it. Welcome to Broken Condoms and Promises, where best friends Siya, Eshari and Cassidy are all about to have their worlds turned upside down one year shy of their dirty thirties.

Meet Siya
At 29, Siya was used to living lavish and only having to worry about herself. She’s content with being a homeowner with no kids and living the single life. She was used to keeping to herself, because she was much more in love with her independence than the idea of actually loving another human being. When things in her professional life turn from sugar to…well, you know, she’s forced to rely on what she knows to keep her bills paid. In turn, she gives a whole new meaning to the term, promiscuous girl. In the midst of that, she reconnects with her ex, Dacarri Blackmon. He’s back with a mission to set her heart on fire and show her what a real emotional connection feels like the second time around. If he plays his cards right, he may be able to win her back if her new “profession” doesn’t get in the way.

Meet Eshari
Coming up, it wasn’t hard for Eshari to attract a man to take care of her so she wouldn’t have to lift a finger. To her friends, she has the perfect life. She’s always traveling and going on shopping sprees, but at what cost? Her husband Hassan is a wealthy businessman of Persian and African-American descent. After three years of marriage, she finds herself wanting the one thing his money can’t buy her; a baby. While desperate to conceive after a miscarriage, she learns of her husband’s infidelity. Blinded by her desires to relish in the joys of motherhood, she decides to take matters into her own hands by rewriting her fate. While in the thick of it with Hassan, will she learn that true love doesn’t cost a thing?

Meet Cassidy
Cassidy learned a long time ago that men were replaceable. Miss one, wait another 15 minutes and another will show up. She’s spent the last few years of her twenties never letting her feet hit the ground before she’s swept up into the arms of one new beau after the next. While her ex, Nasir, is serving time for a drug wrap, she finally decides to get her life together and settle down. She puts away her days of being just another trophy girlfriend to another street king. That’s when she meets a baller with a legitimate bank roll, Jonathan Welch, a prestigious figure on the Hill in Washington D.C. She quickly falls knee-deep in love with his charm and good looks, until he starts to send her on an emotional roller coaster with too many broken promises. Feeling played and hell bent on revenge, she accepts the help of an old flame to permanently extinguish a new one.

This spicy tale follows these three as their relationships are tested and all rules are broken. With the odds stacked up against them, will this small circle of friends make it through the storm or will their own personal drama consume them? After all, pressure creates diamonds.

​BUY HERE

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Chapter One- The Beginning

Siya Thornton

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear, Siya. Happy birthday to you!”

I sat and watched as my two best friends Eshari and Cassidy sat on both sides of me, serenading me on my 29th birthday. I smiled as they sang and cheered, then leaned in to blow out the single birthday candle in the red velvet cupcake placed in front of me. It was a bittersweet moment for me. There I was, one year away from thirty, single, no children and struggling to keep a smile on my face.

Truth was, reality was setting in and everything was starting to hit me like a ton of bricks. I kept trying to think of reasons to keep the fake smile plastered across my face, but my cheeks felt like sandbags. I couldn’t eat any and everything I wanted any more without suffering severe consequences. (Why indigestion, why?) My body sounded like an old rocking chair the way it creaked and cracked in the morning. And did I mention bars are loud as fuck? I mean, really. Why the fuck do people holler at the bartender every 15 seconds to bring them another shot of that cheap ass house vodka? Eh, who am I kidding? Half of those things started happening to me the moment I turned 25, but it was four years later.

By the age of 26, I started realizing that my twenties were coming to a close faster than I’d expected. Yeah, on paper I looked like I was doing pretty good. I had two degrees, a full-time, salary paying job, and I even started putting a minimal dent in my student loan debt. However, being that I was on the threshold of turning thirty, I was having a serious problem grasping onto the way my life was going. Like, is this really it? Almost everybody I went to college with had a kid or three, and were either married or engaged. All the while, I was just sitting there twiddling my damn thumbs and trying to keep my cholesterol down.

And to top it all off, I’d just lost my fucking job.

Nobody but God and the assholes who fired me knew I was currently unemployed, and I planned to keep it that way. It wasn’t as if I thought my friends would judge me, but I just liked keeping some things to myself. I stopped caring about what “society” said was acceptable years ago. I knew shit happened, and I wasn’t nearly as insecure as I was when I was 21. I would say I stressed less, but that’s a total lie. I just stressed differently. It used to be about what am I gonna wear, how am I gonna do my hair, is Freaky Tay gonna be at the party? Now it was like, how the fuck am I gonna pay all these bills and eat too, all why trying to save face?

“Siya? Siya! Girl snap out of it!” Eshari said, nudging me in the arm.

“Sorry!” I said, snapping out of my trance.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Yeah, you’ve been quiet as a mouse all night,” Cassidy added.

I sighed and shook my head before taking a bite out of the cupcake in front of me.

“Nothing...it’s nothing.”

“It’s never nothing, so spill it,” Eshari said.

“I just don’t know where my life is headed lately, that’s all.”

“What do you mean?” Cassidy asked.

“I mean, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’m almost thirty, I’m single, no kids, nothing. I don’t even have a pet.”

“Oh shut up, Siya! You’re gorgeous, you have your head on straight, you got a banging ass job. The men will come when the time is right,” Eshari told me.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re married!”

“She’s got a point there,” Cassidy nodded.

“Trust me; married life is not all that it’s cracked up to be.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Yeah, what the hell does that mean?” Cassidy chimed in.

“It means that marriage is hard work and some days I feel like putting in the hours and some days I don’t.”

“Damn, it’s like that?” Cassidy asked.

“Some days, yeah.”

“Well, at least you got somebody there to be sometimey with you. It’s hard being alone out here, so count your blessings,” I told her.

“Yeah, I guess,” Eshari shrugged.

I shook my head and took a sip of the glass of red wine in front of me. The three of us had our share of heartache in the past. We’d seen a lot and done a lot more.

“I’m just so tired of all this unrequited love. You let a nigga steal your heart, he plays with it for a while until you’re too deep to notice you can’t swim or fly or whatever and then bam, you fall and drown. And there’s no love lost on his part. The shit has to stop,” I said, shaking my head.

“Girl, that’s just how it is though. It’s been that way for centuries and it’ll be that way for eternity. Niggas ain’t shit and they ain’t never gonna be shit,” Cassidy said.

“Because they daddies ain’t shit,” Eshari chimed in.

“Their granddaddies neither!” Cassidy laughed.

I laughed at the three of us. Cassidy and Eshari were the only two people who could always put a smile on my face. For as long as I could remember, the three of us had been as thick as thieves. We told each other everything all the time. However, the way my life was set up, I couldn’t risk telling a soul about any of the shit I was going through. I couldn’t stand to be judged and given sympathetic looks. I snapped back to my thoughts when I heard Eshari speak up.

“Maybe you should make a dating profile, Siya. Ain’t that like the new thing nowadays?”

“Look at you sounding like a true old married woman,” Cassidy told her.

“Shut up! But seriously, Siya. Have you thought about it?”

“I have, just never acted on it.”

“Girl, you know the morning reporter at my job, Rebecca Jamison? She just did a story on that a few months ago, talking about all of the different new dating apps and everything. It really is the new wave,” Cassidy chimed in.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged.

“It couldn’t hurt.”

“I just don’t want to waste my time, you know? Niggas don’t want forever anymore. They just want some ‘in the meantime’ or ‘for the night’ type shit. Who has time for that? How can you even begin to build a foundation off that?”

“You can’t,” Cassidy said.

“And that’s exactly the point! It’s a setup from the beginning. Fuck it, let’s just all be lesbians,” I joked.

“Or join a convent,” Eshari said.

“Maybe we could be lesbians who join a convent,” Cassidy joked.

“Girl, shut up!” I laughed.

“I’m serious though, girl, face it. Freedom feels better, it tastes better and it damn sure looks better. Ain’t nobody in a rush to slap a ring on this finger,” Cassidy said, swinging her bare ring finger in the air like Beyoncé in her “Single Ladies” music video.

“It doesn’t even matter how much you’ve got going for you anymore either. We still gotta wait at the bottom with the rest of these bitches,” I said.

“It’s downright degrading,” Eshari added.

“Who you tellin? Hell, all my good years are damn near up and I’m still out here trying to find a man who wants to stick around for more than a few months at a time, that is, if I want him to. You know I get tired of people quick,” Cassidy admitted.

“You guys, I have a confession to make,” Eshari said, changing the subject.

“What?” I asked, giving her the side eye as I took another sip of wine.

“So y’all know I get a Brazilian wax faithfully every four weeks, right?”

“Yeah, and?” Cassidy asked.

“So my hair is starting to grow back and I….I found a gray hair!” she said, covering her face.

I looked at Cassidy, who looked at me at the same time and we burst out laughing.

“Girl, if you don’t shut your ass up!” Cassidy laughed.

“I’m seriously devastated! That must mean my coochie is getting old and tired!”

“Better tell Hassan to rejuvenate that thang,” I laughed.

“I have a confession too, y’all,” Cassidy added.

“What?” I asked.

“Look at my teeth!” she said as she smiled wide.

“I don’t get it…what’s wrong with them?” I asked.

“Yeah, I don’t see anything wrong.”

“What do you mean you don’t see anything wrong? I’m on TV damn near every day! Talking! The fact that my teeth are so far gone I doubt teeth whiteners from Wally World will be able to reverse the years I spent damaging them with red wine, meat and other shit that’s bad for your teeth! I’m going to have to get dentures before I’m forty!”

“Okay, all these insecure confessions are really killing me. Can we go back to man bashing? It’s what we’re best at,” I laughed.

“I’m so scared to even start getting dark spots and wrinkles! I swear Olay is my best friend, fuck you bitches!” Eshari said, ignoring me.

“Did you forget you’re black? You won’t start to crack or wrinkle until you’re like 78, so simmer down,” I told her.

“Did I mention I’m starting to thicken up? Like, a lot? Not in the face, but like, my ass and shit,” Cassidy added. “Have y’all noticed?”

“I didn’t,” I said, shaking my head.

“Me either. Stand up and let me see your ass,” Eshari told her.

Cassidy scooted her chair back against the hardwood restaurant floor, and did a 360 degree turn in front of us.

“See?” she said, pointing at her ass.

“I do, but that’s not weight that’s good dick, so you might as well go on and sit down and spill that tea,” Eshari told her.

“I am so here for the tea,” I told them.

“You know they say the older you get, the better your relationships start to go. Meaning, better sex,” Eshari said.

“That’s to be determined over here,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Well you have to find a man first,” Cassidy joked.

I rolled my eyes at the two of them as they shared a laugh at my expense. I glanced down at my phone and read the time across the screen. It was nearing 11pm and it was definitely past my bedtime for a Thursday night.

“Well would you look at the time? I’ve got to head home and get ready for bed.”

“It is Thursday, huh?” Cassidy asked. “I should be heading home too.”

“Why are you rushing? It’s your birthday, Siya. You’ve been at your job since you were 23, I’m sure you’ve got enough leave saved up to take a personal day tomorrow.”

I shook my head. Little did she know, I had a lot more personal days to myself than I wanted.

“You know my work is never done at that place, so thank you lovely ladies so much for my birthday dinner, and I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow,” I told them.

“Okay, bye girl. I’m headed right out after you,” Cassidy said as she pushed her chair away from the table and stood to her feet.

“Ugh, fine,” Eshari groaned. “Guess I’ll leave too.”

“Why are you acting like you don’t want to go home all of a sudden?” I asked as I flung my purse over my shoulder.

“Yeah. What’s up with that? Is he beating you girl?” Cassidy asked, sounding like she was partially joking and partially concerned.

“No he’s not fucking beating me, dummy!”

“Just checking,” Cassidy smirked.

“Bye, y’all,” I said and headed for the restaurant exit.

When I got home, I sat my keys down on the countertop and exhaled deeply. I needed to check my bank account and I was dreading just the thought of it. Up until I was fired, I never worried about how much money I had in the bank because I knew I was straight. I was an accountant for a Fortune 200 global power company out of the Washington D.C. office, making $80,000 a year after taxes.

“Fuck,” I groaned as I picked up my cell phone to open up my mobile banking app. Before I placed my thumbprint on the circle button, I tossed my phone on the couch and walked into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of liquid courage. I opened the refrigerator door and leaned my head inside. Amidst the leftovers from two weeks prior, a half-eaten cookie from Subway and a bottle of wine, I found the bottle of peach flavored vodka I’d been nursing since the day I’d been fired.

After pouring some in a glass, I headed back over to my cell phone to face the music. When my balance loaded, I took a sigh of relief. I still had over $10,000 in my savings, but my checking account was a little under $6,000. I knew I had at least one more check coming in from my job, but I was going to have to curb my expensive taste and spending habits if I was going to coast along until I found another job.

I still couldn’t believe I’d gotten fired. Before then, I’d never been fired from anything before in my life. If I ever left a job, it was because I decided to move onto something better, not because someone had taken it upon themselves to make the decision for me. The reason they let me go was a bullshit one, too.

“We’ve decided that we’re going to take the company in a different direction, Siya.”

“What do you mean, Mr. Jameson?” I asked as I sat across from him and Joann from our legal department.

“We’re being bought out by a larger company, and we are being forced to downsize,” he said.

“Downsize meaning what exactly?”

“I’m sorry, Siya, but we’re going to have to let you go.”

“Excuse me?” I squealed.

“This has nothing to do with your work performance or the way that you’ve carried yourself for the many years that you’ve been with us. You are an asset to this company, but this is just strictly business.”

“Business, huh?” I scoffed. “Wow.”

“I am happy to write you a stellar letter of recommendation,” he told me. “As well as send you off with a generous amount of severance pay.”

“Then what? Huh?”

“This is just how things go, Siya. I’m sure you’ll land on your feet. You’re a very ambitious woman, one of whom I’m glad to have had as an employee for as long as I have, but my hands are tied and the decision is final.”

“I understand,” I told him as I nodded slowly.

I gently pushed myself away from his desk and stood to my feet. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I turned to exit his office. I knew the look of shame was plastered all over my face, but I was only focused on not breaking down into tears before I made it to my car.

“I’ll have that letter typed up and sent to your personal email address by close of business today, Siya.”

“Thank you, sir,” I nodded, and then mumbled ‘fucking bitch’ under my breath.

It was the first time in my life that I didn’t know what I was going to do. There was no backup plan. There was no plan b. I was fucked. I turned the 750mL bottle in the upright position and chugged it, in hopes to forget all of my problems. I couldn’t deal and drowning my feelings in the bottom of the liquor bottle I was holding in my hand seemed like the best idea at the time. Before I knew it, tears were pouring out of my eyes and I found myself smack dab in the middle of my feelings. I felt so emotional. I was mentally and physically broken. I started to think pain is life. Like, we’re only here to be put through as much torture as one can take, and when we finally hit our breaking point, that’s when we die.

I laid there, listening to the sounds of my sniffles and erratic breathing as I cried. In an attempt to pull myself out of my funk, I grabbed my phone and went to the app store to download a few dating apps and started setting up my profiles. Setting them up was way more intense than I realized at first. For some of the questions I really had to think of creative answers.

“What am I doing with my life?” I read the profile question aloud. “What the fuck kind of question is that? I’m trying to find a man, that’s what I’m doing with my life!”

Knowing I couldn’t write that, I settled for “I’m a professional woman looking for a mate who can not only match my intelligence, but match my hustle.”

Once I finished that, I chose a couple photos of myself, uploaded them, and waited for the sea of men to roll in. I had been back on the market for over a year and the single life was exactly that; single. I hadn’t had sex, been on a date or even kissed another man since my ex, Dacarri and I broke up. There was a point in time where Dacarri was my everything. We were together all throughout our early-to-mid-twenties, and I just knew that we would make it to forever, but I was mistaken. You see, Dacarri had a thing for sticking his ‘thing’ in other women, and as much as I loved him, I’d had enough of the disrespect. He had dreams, he had ambition, but he just couldn’t be tamed, at least not by me.

My thoughts were transferred from Dacarri to the ‘ping’ my phone made, signaling that I’d gotten a message on one of the dating sites. I quickly scrambled to grab my phone and click the app. I rolled my eyes when I realized it was a generic message from the creator of the app. I shifted my eyes from left to right, reading the welcome and thanks for joining message, when something else caught my eye. It was a small ad in the corner for phone sex operators that read ‘NOW HIRING FEMALE PHONE SEX OPERATOR CLICK HERE FOR MORE.’ Against my better judgment, I clicked the ad and read the details. The pay consisted of three dollars for every ten minutes. Once I surpassed ten minutes, it went up to four dollars, and if somehow I made it up to thirty minutes, the pay would increase to eight dollars. The ad said that I had to be well versed in my imagination and be able to learn different fetishes that ranged from cross-dressing to domination. I continued to read all the FAQs until I scrolled to the bottom of the page and hit the ‘continue to application’ button.

“There’s no turning back now,” I mumbled and started filling out the application.